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Aftermath

from Alcoholic Heart by Zebrana Bastard

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about

I thought the first verses were my uncle's words. Years later, after this song was recorded and I told everyone across the states that my uncle wrote the song, his son corrected me that they are in fact Papa Roach lyrics. My apologies to the band, I had no idea. Doesn't change what it meant to me. My uncle may have not wrote the words but they resonated with him.

lyrics

Pt. 1 – Mike’s Words* (Edit, I later learned that "Mike's Words" is actually from a Papa Roach song. I never listened to the band so I had no idea. I found them scrawled in his handwriting when we cleaned out his house after his death. Still, these lyrics meant something to him and the emotion feels the same. I miss my uncle and suicide sucks.)

You’re drownin’ in the water
And I
Offered you my hand
Compassion in your nature
But you
Didn’t understand
No you didn’t understand
Well I’m sorry
But at least I can say I tried
I’m sorry
But I’ve gotta move on
With my own life
Go flunk yourself

I tear my heart open
And I
Sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind us
That the
Past is real
I tear my heart open just to fail

Pt. 2 – Fuck You (My own words)

I don’t wanna go walkin’ in that room
And I don’t wanna see you lyin’ in that bed
No, I don’t wanna go walkin’ in that room
And I don’t wanna see you lyin’ in that bed

But I know it’s something I just gotta do
I’m gonna walk right up
Stand next to you
If my knees go weak
If they just give out
I know I’ve gotta see it all for myself

But I don’t wanna go walkin’ in that room
And I don’t wanna see you lyin’ in that bed

In tears
I collapsed
To the floor
The moment
I entered
The door
Your face
It feels
So cold
We all die alone

Shaking
I crawled
To the bed
Remembering
The things
You said
I managed
The strength
To stand
Kissed your face
And touched
Your hand
We all die alone
We all die alone
Well go fuck yourself

credits

from Alcoholic Heart, released December 17, 2011
Pt. 1 - Written by Michael Allen Boothe, my Uncle Mikey. May your soul forever find the peace you couldn't find in this world.

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Zebrana Bastard Jefferson, Oregon

Skulls & Butterflies

It is the breaking of my heart and the triumphs you obtain when you smash through walls. Life is pain, it's suffering, but it's also beautiful because of it. Lyrics just as raw and honest as I am, maybe even more so. An intense, emotional ride. My heart on my sleeve, the baring of my soul. ... more

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