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about

I wrote this song in late 2014 or early 2015, after moving into my first solo apartment. I said I wasn't going to play music anymore, but then I got all moved in and this song popped out. It's about getting sober and everything that comes with it.

lyrics

Well this is me now
And finally I can see how
The way I blinded myself
The way I lied to myself
Said it's okay
Okay
Okay
To just drink it away

It was a big ol' well
My head it used to flex and swell
And the mirror it gave me hell
Truth be told, I used to hate myself
But now it's okay
Okay
Okay
'Cause that was yesterday

I said this is me now
Embrace my complex machina
Learn to be good to myself
Now I'm sticking true to myself
Learn to leave each day
For the day
Just today
Without focus on the pain

This is me now
And finally I can see how
The way I blinded myself
The way I lied to myself
Said it's okay
Okay
Okay
To fuck my life away

I know I did some things
And I still got some memories
I gave my everything
'Till I had none left for me
I gave my all
My all
My all
And then I watched it fall

I said this is me now
Embrace my complex machina
Learnin to be good to myself
Yeah I'm sticking true to myself
And I live each day
For the day
Just today
'Cause that's the only way

credits

from what was & what is EP, released March 14, 2021
Bass & Vox: Zebrana Bastard
Violin: A. Fiddle-Hooper www.fiddlehooper.com

Recorded at Bridge City Sessions in Portland, OR on 01.30.2021
Mixed & Mastered by Jon Sosa - Summation Mix

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about

Zebrana Bastard Jefferson, Oregon

Skulls & Butterflies

It is the breaking of my heart and the triumphs you obtain when you smash through walls. Life is pain, it's suffering, but it's also beautiful because of it. Lyrics just as raw and honest as I am, maybe even more so. An intense, emotional ride. My heart on my sleeve, the baring of my soul. ... more

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